Botanicals & Disguises

I know, I do this every year a few weeks after we’ve just entered the new year and most everyone is trying to relax after the crazy hustle and bustle of December holidays…… I remind you that there is yet another high maintenance holiday peaking it’s beautifully ugly head around the corner… February.  You know, the holiday which welcomes, accepts, and/or invites a certain level of promiscuity; motivates you to finally purge your emotional convictions and undying love to a friend you’ve known for years; the holiday that offers you an excuse to lock the kids in the closet and have date night with your spouse; or inspires you to engage in ultra heavy flirting with that guy/girl at the gym……. No matter how you define it, how you utilize it, or how much you may even hate it and celebrate with an anti-Valentine’s Day event, VD is not going away (oye cringe)…..At least I am not like some businesses (I won’t name any names) who have been pushing St. Patrick’s Day and even Easter products for weeks now. Well, rather than months ahead, I’m here a few weeks before Valentine’s Day, aka VD, to bombard you with a couple of specials that I am offering on goodies in my Etsy shop that are VD appropriate.

bitty flowersFor those who aren’t aware, I make paper flowers in four sizes out of recycled magazines, catalogs, comic books, etc. and sell them predominantly through the Kemper Museum Shop, and are now for sale in my Etsy shop.  Order online or pick up a dozen from my studio at a price that even knocks my socks off!!!! In exchange for $36 I will give you a bouquet of 12 handmade paper flowers- in any of the four sizes I offer: bitty, small, medium, and large.  large paper flowersKnowing that a single keepsake rose can cost anywhere from $3-$6, and a dozen roses can cost up to $30 + dollars,  I personally think this is a wonderful deal !,  especially because my flowers do not wither. Plus that makes them $3 a stem !, below the cost of buying them individually at other venues I sell them….and because they are all made of repurposed magazines or comic books, you can even assure yourself that you are not only making a unique purchase but an environmental one as well. And here’s another great deal!!! At no extra charge, if you come to pick them up I’ll even throw in a repurposed glass bottle or an interesting thrift store vase to take them home in (sorry, the vase in image is mine.), or after hand selecting each of your flowers at my studio in Hyde Park- Kansas City, MO, I can simply wrap them in tissue for you.

So while I’m exploiting Valentine’s Day….. she may look cleanI’m going to push another item I have for sale all year around.  Even if you are single or hate Valentine’s Day, there is undoubtedly something affluent in the air during that second week of February…..and you just may find yourself meeting your lifelong dream hunk or hunkette at the coffee shop, the grocery store, or somewhere else- perhaps this endeavor might lead into a one night excursion. But does it really matter where you meet him/her? I mean G-d forbid, no one wants to risk getting VD, especially on VD.

Whatever you do, don’t be sexually stupid and find yourself down at the local Planned Parenthood clinic due to not being protected.  I personally am very grateful for all the assistance I’ve received from Planned Parenthood in my lifetime thus far, however, today I only use their services today for preparedness, health, awareness, and maintenance….  I learned some of my lessons the hard way in the past- and you don’t have to. would-you-be-more-careful-if-it-was-you-that-got-pregnantPro-choice, pro-life, pro-family, pro-family planning, pro-women’s health, that is who I am, as ALL woman (and even men) should be.

….and so today I continue to advocate for Planned Parenthood by selling my handmade tea baggin’ condom disguises: paper tea envelopes, lined and machine sewn using scrap/ repurposed fabric that come equipped with a “Proper Attire” Planned Parenthood condom, in which a portion of your $ goes back to Planned Parenthood with purchase. I know, you’re saying, “What a wonderfully kitschy repurposing idea that not only promotes environmentalism through the reuse of trash (un)worthy materials, but also promotes safe sex and birth control with a family planning attitude.” They are not only funny, and condomly disguise-able, but they are make great conversation starters, while they are most of all, useful! Again, they are equipped with a “Proper Attire” Planned Parenthood condom of the Dot, Taste, Color or Basic varieties- one condom per tea bag envelope. But for a limited high maintenance holiday time only from January 27th- February 14th you can get 12 of these little guys for $20….This is basically like getting 2 free per dozen at the original price.
**Feel free to request an assortment, or one specific type of condom per the entire order in a message upon ordering.

tea baggin' condom disguise


Upon ordering for either of these items:  First: Go to my Etsy shop. Be aware of the two VD special options for flowers and condom disguises that differ from everyday ordering.  Second: Become familiar with my “purchasing policies” before placing your order, and Lastly: If you are ordering from Kansas City on Etsy and prefer to pick up rather than ship, please use the coupon code upon checkout: KCPIKUP. (If you use this code and are not picking up in Kansas City, I will not ship these items and will refund your monies. Thank you for your understanding.)

Well, I hope this leaves you all feeling warm inside.  It certainly does me.  I hope to hear from you, even if it’s not to order something.  I always love feedback.

Best wishes!